Lady Gaga
Monday, September 21
lately, i can't play normally in poker. im still a bit affected by that last game before i slept. it was annoying that everytime i had my hands, i usually remember my co-player said. i remember his name correctly. Robert Sullivan. lately, i didnt realized that my bluffing techniques has been a normal strategy. and i didnt quite realized that it was getting obvious for others to see. at first he told me.. stop bluffing jin. on that moment, i was always making an all in to all my chips. but then i didnt listen thinking that im too sleepy and losing wouldnt be a big issue. and so i lost after i all in-ed. and that lost, he made a word, as i was still on the room. that's what u get from bluffing jin. bluffing gets you nowhere jin. at first thought it was just nothing to me. but then as i went unto my life, those words made a mark unto my heart. little by little it went unto my cerebellum and i finally related it unto my life. he's right. i should've been bluffing all my games, people are not idiot. bluffing is not always the best option to survive. yes, it would give a fast easy remedy but its not the main solution for everything. and if put into layman's term, bluffing is still lying. oh man. i've been bluffing lately. and its really not getting me to my desired place. i guess this wake up call had rang the big bell that i've been pretending not to hear. im not just blinded but also been too much dependent by this way of survival. hate it that it became my means of desperate means for desperate measure. i need a change if i dont want to be marked as gaga by mom and tita. lol. and as well as Lady Gaga's dedication should be idolized. yeah jin. change. its for your own good. so for now on. minimize poker and less bluffing!
oh by the way, happy birthday to my friends.. LG, commonly known as Gale. and Jessica and Bea! Hope to greet you in the coming years! lol, as if they'd see this. but then, its just a reminder to me that sep. 21 is my college friends bday... that made me think, how cool is it to celebrate a bday like their date. its been one of my dreams to have a bday that is a school day. but technically it has no classess today, still its cool to have a bday during a semester. at least u wont be alone in your bday and a lot of people would greet you. it feels special when people remembers, taken in mind that i normally live my life alone, provided im just an only child. anyway, another cool thing i love with their birthday is that they are all in the same age and they are 3. feels like you have someone who has the same date and time as yours makes you feel that you were not alone in this world when u woke up. it's as if you have other people living on your same body time. how cool is that? and as an added bonus, feels like you almost have other sisters which was not born on the same womb. an instant twin or triplets sister. i always dreamt of having a twin sister or brother. just a sibling would do. i really envy those people who have one. but then, birth is something inevitable. same as death. you cannot change the time you we're born and most especially the family you were born with. but that's life i guess. i should cherish what i have. and im really thankful to have my mom and tita by my side. and what else can you ask, you have a birthday which is a holiday! every year your family dont need to have a day off for you. anyway. i should be going. i need to finish this poker round. i've been multi-tasking. lol. GL for me and everybody!^^,
Juiced 3:01 AM
